Truth to be told
by Misery1
Summary: Alternate ending to: "The Sins of a Father" (S2,E8) Uther is so grateful, he makes Merlin his manservant. Warning: mild violence, Merlin!whump


"My Lord..." Merlin inclined his head, when he realized that the King was standing in Gaius' chambers.

"I wanted to thank you in person for your actions yesterday. You are a loyal servant to Arthur. I'm most grateful," the King said, hastily putting down a book he had studied.

"I was just doing my duty," Merlin replied without looking at Uther.

"It was more than that. You saved my life. You showed me that you are a trusted ally in the fight against magic," Uther said smiling.

"Sire..." Merlin stammered, as he continued to stare at the wooden floor.

"Therefore you will be rewarded. From this day on you will be my manservant. You've earned yourself the honour to serve the King."

Merlin paled. Clumsily, he staggered backwards. „My...my Lord...I don't know what to say," he mumbled confused.

"You don't have to say anything. I expect you in my chambers tomorrow morning. I assume you know your duties."

Uther turned around, and walked to the door.

"Yes, Sire. But...what about Arthur?" Merlin managed to say. His mind was racing. He didn't want to serve the king. He wanted to stay with Arthur.

"Don't worry, boy. He can find himself a new servant." With that said, Uther left.

Merlin sank onto the bench. He couldn't do that. He couldn't be Uther's servant. Uther hated magic more than anything else. Uther was cold-blooded. Selfish. A liar. A traitor. He only cared about his own interest. He would kill Merlin without hesitating, if he ever found out about his gift. And how should he protect Arthur, if he wasn't allowed to leave the King's side?

Maybe he should talk to Arthur, and ask him, if he could persuade his father to keep him as his servant.

Merlin sighed heavily. This had been a bad day.

He had once more denied the part of him that made him special. He had lied to Arthur, and himself, to save the one, who was responsible for his own miserable situation.

He barely looked up, when Gaius entered.

"What did the king want?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"He thanked me for saving his life," Merlin replied tiredly. "and he made me his servant."

Gaius gasped. "Well...that's...a surprise."

"Gaius, I can't do that," Merlin whispered, clenching his hands into tight fists.

Slowly, Gaius sat down next to him. "I fear you don't have a choice, Merlin. If you disobey, the King will arrest you. Maybe he will even banish you from Camelot."

"But Gaius...how...I can't serve the man, who hates my kind. What if he finds out about me? And what if anything happens to Arthur?" Merlin shook his head.

Gently, Gaius patted Merlin's knee. "You have to be careful. Don't worry too much. Everything will be all right."

xxxxx

Merlin was still very upset, when he went to Arthur.

"Merlin," Arthur greeted him. The prince was sitting on his bed, and didn't seem too happy, either.

"I heard about your promotion. Well done," he said with a smile, but his voice sounded strained.

Merlin cringed. "I'm sorry, Sire. You...you expected so much from that enchantress...and..."

Arthur jumped to his feet. "Stop it, Merlin. I don't want to talk about it. I guess, I better start looking for a new servant. Won't be too hard." He walked to the screen, and started to undress.

"Hey, I always did my best," Merlin objected.

"Which wasn't very much," Arthur remarked, throwing his sweaty shirt at Merlin.

Quickly, Merlin handed him the nightshirt.

"Just one advice, Merlin. My father is a strict man. He will not accept any mistakes. Keep your mouth shut, and just do your chores," Arthur said, and Merlin detected a hinge of concern in his voice.

"I survived you," Merlin replied, and let out a shaky laugh.

Arthur reappeared, and shoved his trousers into Merlin's arms. "I mean it, Merlin."

"I know, Sire. I will be careful," Merlin said, and smiled at the prince.

"Good. You can go now." Yawning, Arthur went back to his bed, and slipped under the duvet

"Please take care of yourself, Arthur," Merlin said, while he put Arthur's clothes into the basket. His _new _servant could wash them.

Bewildered, Arthur stared at him. "Don't be such a girl, Merlin. You will still see me." Arthur grinned.

Merlin sagged his shoulders, and left Arthur's chambers.

Although he was bone-tired, he could barely find any sleep. Merlin was nervous. What if he did make a mistake?

xxxxx

Tired and trembling, Merlin knocked on the door that led to the King's chambers.

"Come on in," Uther said.

Merlin took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Uther was sitting at his desk, enjoying an enormous breakfast.

"Good morning, my Lord," Merlin said, bowing. His stomach growled.

"You need to change the sheets. There's a hole in my shirt. My boots need to be cleaned, and these candles are too thin," Uther said, without looking up.

"Yes, my Lord," Merlin answered, gritting his teeth. Unsure where to begin, Merlin looked around. Uther's chambers were a mess.

Impatiently, Uther took a sip from his goblet. "What are you waiting for, boy? You must be finished around noon. Your presence will be required in the throne room. Lord Escalon will eat with me today."

"Yes, my Lord," Merlin mumbled, and turned his attention to the unmade bed.

After he had finally found some candles that seemed suitable for Uther's candlesticks, he rushed to the throne room, where the King, and an old man, spotting a huge nose, and a dark beard, were sitting.

A maid give him a jug filled with red wine, and left. Merlin knew what to do for he had helped serving these meals on a regular basis.

While the nobles were shoving unhealthy amounts of food into them, he had to remain almost invisible.

After the lunch, Uther dismissed Merlin, and he hurried back to Gaius, who kept him busy until the early evening.

When he returned to the King's chambers, Merlin could hardly keep his eyes open. He suppressed a yawn, as he helped the king to undress, and settle for the night.

Whereas Arthur had at least talked to him, Uther only barked orders at him.

"You are dismissed," he finally said, after Merlin had blown out most of the candles. "And don't forget to empty the chamber pot."

"My...Lord," Merlin sighed, and bent down to pick up the pot. As he made his way to the door, he tripped over his own feet, and fell. With a loud clattering noise, the chamber pot hit the ground, emptying its contents all over Merlin and the floor.

Uther jumped out of his bed in one swift motion. He looked, as if he was ready to attack some enemy. Angrily, he glared at Merlin, who sat on the floor, dazed with shock.

"You idiot," he yelled. "Clean this mess up. Now."

"I'm sorry, my Lord. I'm really sorry," Merlin stammered.

Hastily, he scrambled to his feet to fetch a cloth, but the king held him back.

"Use your own shirt, boy."

"Sire?" Merlin stared at Uther with wide eyes.

"Your shirt. Now. And hurry up. I need my sleep," Uther said, his voice cold and determined.

"Yes, my Lord," Merlin replied. Tears welled up in his eyes, as he took his shirt off, and started to mop the floor.

Exhausted and humiliated, he staggered into Gaius' chambers. The court physician had already been asleep, but he blinked, when Merlin shuffled past his bed.

"What's that disgusting smell?" he croaked, slowly sitting up.

"Merlin, what have you done?"

Merlin didn't even react. He murmured a spell to clean his shirt that he still held in his trembling hands, and disappeared into his room.

Gaius considered questioning Merlin, but it was late, and he needed to get up early in the morning.

Shaking his head, he lied down, and dozed off.

xxxxx

When Gaius woke up, Merlin had already left.

Uther was in a foul mood. He accused Merlin of being a stupid serving boy, who could easily be replaced.

He cut off his knights, who reported back to him. He even yelled at Arthur, who asked for permission to go hunting.

Merlin forced a weak smile on his lips, when Arthur looked at him.

After Arthur had stormed out of the council room, Uther ordered Merlin to take the documents back into his chambers, and prepare hot water for a bath.

Quickly, he gathered the parchment rolls, the contracts and maps, and followed Uther.

Uther pointed at an open chest, beckoning Merlin to store the documents. He tried to be very careful, as he placed them into the chest.

"Boy, polish my armor, while I take a bath," Uther said.

"Yes, my Lord."

Merlin bowed, dashing out of the room to get the water heated up.

"Is the temperature to your satisfaction, Sire?" he asked, when Uther climbed into the tub.

"I didn't give you my permission to speak. Do what I told you," Uther barked at him, slowly lowering his body into the warm water.

He let out a sigh, and closed his eyes.

Merlin bit back a retort, and tiptoed to the table to clean Uther's hardly used armor. It was scarred, battered, rusty even, and no matter how hard he tried, he could barely make it shiny.

"Servant," Uther called out for him.

"A few days ago, I had a name," Merlin thought bitterly. For one moment, he considered using magic to satisfy the king by presenting him a brand-new-looking armor, but it was too dangerous.

"My Lord?" Merlin replied, trying to smile.

"Get my towel. Now."

"Yes, Sire."

He helped Uther change into fresh clothes, and put on his boots. He was about to empty the tub, when Uther shouted: "What is that?"

Merlin's heartbeat quickened. Uther had discovered his badly scratched armor, and was eyeing it with disgust. "Can't you see all these spots? It's still dirty!" Letting out a roar, Uther swept the armor from the table.

"I'm sorry, my Lord," Merlin said. Besides the embarrassment, he felt his anger rising.

Suddenly, Uther grabbed him. "You are completely useless!" he spat, and before Merlin could react, he slammed his fist into Merlin's face.

Pain exploded in his head. Uther gave him a rough shove, so that he staggered backwards. His back connected with the table, and he sank to the floor, groaning.

"My son might have been indulgent to you, but I don't accept mistakes."

Holding his head, Merlin nodded.

Uther growled: "That's 'yes, my Lord', boy!" Then he kicked Merlin in the ribs.

Biting his lips, Merlin turned his pain-filled gasp into a hissed: "Yes, my Lord."

"You will clean my armor again and again until I'm satisfied. And now pick it up."

"Yes, my Lord," Merlin panted, as he struggled to get on his knees. His head was hurting, and he felt dizzy.

It was late at night, when Uther finally told him to stop polishing the armor.

"You can go now," he said without even looking at Merlin, who was shaking with exhaustion.

"Thank you, my Lord. Good night, my Lord," Merlin mumbled, slowly getting up. His whole body was in pain, as he wobbled towards the door.

Gaius didn't wake up, when Merlin crossed the room, and stumbled up the stairs.

Completely spent, he fell on his bed. He was already fast asleep, when his head hit the pillow.

xxxxx

"Merlin! Merlin, you have to wake up," Gaius called for him.

Softly, Merlin moaned, his eyes fluttering open. The bright sunlight was streaming through his window.

Hastily, he scrambled to his fee, and opened the door.

"Merlin, the king is furious. You are..." Gaius fell silent, and eyed Merlin worriedly. "What happened to your face?"

Carefully, Merlin felt for his cheek, as if he had forgotten that Uther had hit him.

"Nothing," he lied. "I ran into the door last night. It was my fault. I was just clumsy." Merlin tried to grin, but his face was still hurting.

Gaius sighed. "You should hurry up. The king needs you."

Merlin grimaced. "I never thought I would miss being Arthur's servant," he said.

Gaius snickered. "Uther can't be that worse. Off you go."

Ignoring the queasy feeling in his stomach, Merlin left Gaius. He didn't want to go back to Uther.

Still in his nightshirt, Uther was pacing his chambers, when Merlin knocked and pried the door open.

"You are late," Uther greeted him. "A king can never be late. I have so much responsibility. Being late can be fatal."

"I know, Sire," Merlin replied. His heart was racing, and he felt slightly nauseous

"Oh, I don't think you know, stupid boy," Uther said calmly.

He walked to his cupboard, slowly pulling it open.

"I've told you yesterday that I can't tolerate mistakes. You might have a good heart, but you definitely need some discipline. Your parents did a poor job in raising you. Maybe that's why they sent you away," Uther said, grabbing something from the cupboard.

"You have no right to speak like that about my mother," Merlin hissed, stepping forward.

Uther stiffened. "How dare you, boy," he shouted angrily.

Merlin clenched his hands into tight fists. "Sire, I know what you have done...to your son..."

Uther spun round, his eyes dark with hatred. Now Merlin could see what he had been looking for. He held a short whip in his hands.

"Shut your filthy mouth," he spat, lifting his arm.

"You think you are better, because you are noble, but you're not," Merlin said, not even cringing, when Uther swung the whip.

"Don't..." Uther panted. He was sweating, his cheeks fiery red.

The whip connected hard with Merlin's shoulders, slicing through the thin fabric of his shirt.

Merlin staggered backwards, trying to reach the door.

Uther cracked the whip again, hitting Merlin's chest and thighs.

Merlin fell, still desperately crawling towards the door.

He knew he would use magic, if he lost his temper. He couldn't let that happen. Uther was enraged. He brought the whip down again and again. The cracks ringed in Merlin's ears, as the whip ripped his clothes, biting into his flesh. His magic boiled underneath his skin, begging him to be let out.

Hot white pain swept through his body. Blindly, he felt for the doorknob, flinching violently, as the whip curled itself around his wrist like a burning snake. He wrenched the door open, and dragged himself out into the hallway. He nearly collided with a knight, who was about to knock on Uther's door.

The knight eyed him with surprise, but said nothing.

Merlin, who was breathing heavily, brought himself into a standing position. Leaning on the wall for support, he staggered away, hoping that Uther would be too distracted to come after him.

He didn't know where to go. He couldn't tell Gaius. It was too embarrassing. Merlin was ashamed of himself, of having been beaten like a stubborn animal.

He had crossed the line.

Why hadn't he kept his mouth shut?

He felt stupid. Maybe he was an idiot after all.

In Ealdor, he had gotten himself into trouble on a regular basis, because he hadn't fit in.

Maybe Uther had been right, and he was a bad-mannered fool.

How should he fulfill his destiny, when he messed everything up?

Tears welled up in his eyes, as he pressed himself against the cold wall. He glanced at his pounding wrist. Blood oozed from the small cut.

xxxxx

"Merlin, what are you doing here?" A very familiar voice said. Arthur.

Merlin sighed.

"Are you playing hide and seek?" Arthur fell silent, as he discovered the torn clothes, and the large bruise on his face.

Slowly, he bent down. "Merlin, who did this?"

Merlin shook his head, firmly biting his lips. Tears rolled down his cheeks, betraying him.

"You need to see Gaius," Arthur said, and grasped his arm.

"No!" Merlin choked out. "Please, Arthur."

Confused, Arthur raised his eyebrows. "You really are an idiot, Merlin."

To Arthur's surprise, Merlin didn't object. "You're right," he said, his voice hoarse and fragile.

"I'm stupid."

Merlin drew his knees to his chest, and buried his head between them. Quiet sobs escaped his lips, and his whole body was shaking, as he tried to hide them.

"Merlin," Arthur said softly, gently patting his shoulders. "Get up."

"No..." Merlin croaked.

"Get up," Arthur repeated, ignoring Merlin's weak protest. "I don't want to carry you. We're going to my chambers."

Slowly, Merlin looked up. His face was ashen, his eyes red-rimmed.

"Arthur, I don't think that's a good idea," he said.

"You're hurt, Merlin. And I need to know what happened," Arthur replied, grabbing Merlin's arm, and pulling him to his feet.

For a moment, Merlin leaned heavily on Arthur, waiting until his head stopped spinning. Then he straightened his shoulders.

"Since when do you care about me?" he remarked between shaky breaths.

"I don't." Arthur grinned. "But if there's an intruder here in Camelot, I must find him."

Tiredly, Merlin pinched the bridge of his nose. "Camelot is not in danger."

"Then who did this?"

"I can't tell you," Merlin said stubbornly.

Arthur studied him. "Was it one of the knights? Sometimes they like to play pranks..."

"No!" Merlin quickly shouted.

"You can be a pain in the ass, you do know that, don't you?" Arthur said, tugging at Merlin's arm.

"I'm sorry," Merlin whispered, when Arthur led him to his chambers.

"Sit down," he said. Gratefully, Merlin sank on the chair. The welts burnt and stung. He could feel blood trickling down his leg. He had never felt so miserable in his whole life.

Sighing, he let his eyes drift shut.

"This might hurt a little bit," Arthur said, causing Merlin to jump, as he pressed something cold onto the cut on his hand. His eyes flew open.

"You don't have to do this," he said through gritted teeth.

Arthur, who was carefully cleaning the wound, looked at him. "You are a mess, Merlin. We have to get you out of these clothes."

"What...no!" Merlin flinched violently.

"Someone flogged you, Merlin. I can see that...and I...I know how it feels," Arthur said quietly.

Merlin's eyes widened. "Your...your father...has..." he stammered.

Arthur stared at him, as he realized what Merlin had said. "My father has done this to you? Why, Merlin? I told you to keep it low."

"I tried..." Merlin mumbled. "I tried, and I failed."

Closing his eyes, Arthur took a deep breath. "We will talk about that later. Take your shirt off. Someone needs to take a look at your injuries."

"And that someone has to be you?" Merlin groaned.

"Shut up, and undress."

Slowly, Merlin began to strip, wincing with pain, as he revealed the fiery red welts, which clearly stood out against his pale skin.

Arthur studied him with narrowed eyes. "This doesn't look too bad," he finally said. "They will heal nicely. There's only one deeper cut on your thigh."

Before Merlin could react, Arthur bent down, and softly dabbed at the bleeding welt with the cloth.

Merlin squirmed. He could feel Arthur's hot breath on his skin.

Then Arthur took a clean cloth, wetted it, and ran it over Merlin's body, trying to soothe the irritated skin. Merlin tried to relax.

"Thank you," he mouthed, after Arthur had finished tending to him, and washed his hands.

"You know where my shirts are. Take one, and put it on," Arthur said without looking at him.

Hastily, Merlin pulled his trousers back up, and wobbled towards Arthur's drawer. His hands were shaking, when he slid the shirt over his head.

"I better go now," he said. A new wave of dizziness washed over him, and he let out a moan, holding his head.

"I don't think so. You look, as if you are about to pass out," Arthur stated, and pointed at the chair.

"Sit down, before you fall down. I won't pick you up from the floor."

Sighing, Merlin shuffled back to the chair.

Arthur gave him a goblet, filled with water. "Here."

He waited, until Merlin had taken a small sip. "And now tell me what happened."

Merlin shook his head. "I can't, Arthur. It was my fault, and your father punished me. End of story."

"I know you, Merlin. What has he done?"

"He..." Merlin hesitated, "he insulted my mother."

Arthur winced. "Why should he do that? Your mother is a really nice person."

"I don't think Uther cares," Merlin replied.

"I don't get it," Arthur continued. "A few days ago, he told me that he loved my mother, and never wanted to harm her..."

"You are his son, Arthur. I'm only a servant." Exhausted, Merlin leaned back his aching head.

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't. We never had a good relationship. He told me that he needed to prepare me for when I become king. And when I didn't obey, he became angry..." Arthur let his voice trail off.

"He...hit you?" Merlin gaped at Arthur.

Smiling sadly, Arthur raked his fingers through his hair. "Hit me, threw me in the dungeons, starved me, whipped me. He said I must always be grateful. I didn't really understand what he meant, but now..."

Merlin nodded, shifting uncomfortably on the chair.

The lies he had told Arthur about his mother's death hurt more than the whip lashes did.

"I survived, and my mother died. I was lucky, I guess," Arthur quietly said.

Biting his lower lip, Merlin pondered that. Arthur had a right to get to know the truth.

"I lied to you," he whispered, lowering his head.

A puzzled look crossed Arthur's eyes. "About what?"

Inhaling deeply, Merlin said: "About what your mother told you. She was telling the truth."

When Arthur didn't reply, Merlin carefully lifted his head, and glanced at him. "Arthur?"

Arthur's expression was blank, and he had paled slightly.

All of a sudden, he leapt to his feet, grabbed Merlin by the throat, and yanked him up. "Why, Merlin? Why did you do this to me?"

Merlin's arms flailed helplessly, when Arthur shook him.

"You..." Merlin rasped., "would have killed your father."

Glaring at him, Arthur shoved him back. Merlin stumbled, nearly missing the chair.

A grunt escaped his lips, when his back hit the back of the chair.

"Get out of my sight," Arthur hissed.

"Arthur, please. I know that you feel betrayed...but your father..."

"You don't know anything, Merlin," Arthur harshly cut him off, his eyes flashing with anger. "Now get out."

His legs nearly buckled under him, when he stood up. "Promise me that you don't do anything stupid," he said.

Arthur didn't even look at him.

xxxxx

Merlin padded back to his room. He was feeling light-headed. The pain had slightly subsided, the whip marks were throbbing dully. He had never been so lonely. He had betrayed Arthur's trust. He had lied to him. Lies. Everything he did consisted of lies. His whole life was built on a huge lie.

Uther had been right to punish him. He was no more than stinking dirt. Had he really thought he would fit in? He would always be different. There was nobody who was like him.

Luckily, Gaius was still out, treating his patients.

Why had his mother sent him here?  
He was worthless. He was useless.

Stupid destiny.

He couldn't fulfill it.

Tears streamed down his face, as he sank onto his mattress, crying himself to an uneasy sleep.

xxxxx

"Merlin, if this is becoming a habit," Gaius jerked him awake, before he saw that his apprentice was still wearing clothes and boots. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing," Merlin lied, his eyelids heavy with sleep. He slowly sat up, trying not to wince with pain.

"The king wants to see you," Gaius said, still eyeing him worriedly.

Merlin's heart skipped a beat. This could not be good. "I...I'll be there in a moment," he replied.

After Merlin had changed into one of his shirts, and a new pair of breeches, he knocked on the king's door.

Arthur was standing next to his father. He looked as if he hadn't slept much, either. His lips were pressed together tightly. One hand rested on his hop, fingertips brushing over the hilt of his sword.

"My Lord," Merlin hoarsely said, bowing to the king, biting back a moan.

"You useless scum," Uther spat, and Arthur tightened the grip on his sword.

"I should throw you in the dungeons. My son, however, insisted on dealing with you himself. I don't know why he's so fond of you." Uther cast a flickering glance at Arthur, who slightly relaxed. "You will therefore be reinstated as Prince Arthur's manservant."

"Thank you, my Lord." Again, Merlin bowed to him, ignoring the stabbing pain.

He had barely left the room when someone grabbed him, and roughly slammed him against the wall.

This time, he couldn't prevent himself from crying out.

His breath hitched, as he looked at Arthur, who was watching him like a hawk.

"I should lock you up myself, you idiot", he sneered.

Then his voice softened. "How are you feeling?"

A look of surprise crossed Merlin's eyes. "Sore..stupid...Arthur, I'm sorry."

"I know," Arthur said, finally letting go off him. "Come."

Arthur unbuckled his belt, laid the sword on the table, and slumped down in his chair.

"Thank you, Sire," Merlin quickly said, closing the door behind him.

"You were right, though," Arthur stated. "I would have killed my father in cold blood."

Hesitantly, Merlin stepped closed. "Your father didn't want your mother's death," he said, nervously interlacing his fingers.

"He used magic, Merlin. He used it..and now he hunts them down like animals," Arthur said, grimacing slightly. "He made a mistake, and let – God knows how many – innocent people suffer. He always spoke of honour and sincerity. He taught me to stick to my word. And then..." Arthur fell silent, clenching his fists in frustration.

"I'm sorry that he did this to you, and I'm sorry that I lied to you," Merlin quietly said.

"What should I do, Merlin?" Arthur asked, looking at him. "I don't think I will be able to forgive him."

"Arthur," Merlin cleared his throat, "please, don't...don't forget that magic can be used for the good. Just don't forget that you..were born because of magic."

Bewildered, Arthur studied him. Merlin's cheeks flushed.

"Sometimes you do puzzle me," he said.

"I'm just saying that one day you will be a great and just king. No matter what Uther did to you, no matter how he treated you, you are not like him."

"Are you trying to be wise, Merlin?" Confused, Arthur raised his eyebrows.

Merlin weakly grinned. "Do you need anything else, Sire?"

Breaking into a smile, Arthur replied: "My clothes need washing, my armor needs polishing, my room needs cleaning..."

Grimacing, Merlin let out a long sigh.

Arthur chuckled. "You should be thankful. Stop complaining, and get started."

"Yes, Sire," Merlin said.

When he bent down to pick up the laundry, Arthur stopped him. "Oh and Merlin, I'm glad you told me the truth. I trust you, you know?"

"I only wanted to protect you, Arthur," Merlin said, curling his lips into a smile.


End file.
